Bartender! I need an astrological cocktail!!

Bartender! Bartender!!

I need a drink! 

(Obviously, the bartender is a Pisces;

did you expect any other sign?)

Aries:  Bloody Mary, and heavy on the Tabasco.

Taurus:  Pina Colada, and lay on the pineapple and coconut juice—and don't hold back on the rum too.

Gemini:  Jolt Cola—or anything with a caffeine kick and sugar too. On the other hand, a Gemini would ask for a double, being the sign of the Twins.

Cancer:  Milkshake—and could you serve it in a baby bottle?

Leo:  Cognac.  Of course.

Virgo:  Alcohol-free beer, or fresh veggie juice.  Carrots and parsley, please.

Libra:  Your best champagne, sir!

Scorpio:  Castor oil—and some Metamucil.  Or if you have any snake venom, just leave a few drops on the side with a knife and the antidote--cobra is preferred.

Sagittarius:  A mocha latte with a pinch of nutmeg, cloves, and cinnamon.

Capricorn:  Martini.  And a scotch chaser.

Aquarius:  Holiday punch—spiked, of course, with some good acid.

Pisces:  Keep pouring until I say stop (or can’t say anything any more), and maybe a peyote button to chew from the dish at the bar. While you’re at it, leave the bottle on the bar too.


(c) MDLOP8 2010