The "new" astrological signs revisited ahead for 2023

Remember this? I'm STILL being asked "Aren't there 13 signs now?" and "Am I still my original sign? I thought they changed me!"

So...once again...in honor of all the uproar…I am announcing yet another system, the PSYAP way of interpreting your birth sign for the 21st century.  This is my idea, and anyone who disputes it can do so. If anyone cares to reproduce it…send a chunk of crypto (I don’t expect the U.S. dollar to have a long lifespan thanks to Pluto in Capricorn).

================================ 

Ramses the Ram – Known for knocking their heads against the wall and wondering why they have migraines, and also found in hat stores trying on styles that don’t fit or make sense.

Taureen the Bull – Found at the dinner table sampling everything that tastes good (and going for second helpings), and also throwing elaborate sports parties where everything is made on barbeque grills.

JimiNye the Twins – These individuals have the potential to play a right-handed guitar with their left hand, and also possess great urges to steal candy from stores, but turn themselves in after being spotted arguing aloud with themselves about right vs. wrong.

Canseer the Crab – These individuals are found crying at weddings, funerals, and at the maternity ward where babies are kept overnight for observation; also known for making phone calls to total strangers and saying “I was worried about you; did you have a bowel movement today?”

HighlyLo the Lion – Often found in department stores behind the perfume counter and in clothing stores, they help themselves to samples and bring armfuls of items to the dressing room to try on and don’t put anything back on hangers.

Where-go the Virgin Maiden – Often noticed in personnel departments and human resource offices rummaging through the trash bins for lost papers and near the copy machine; they can’t stand to pass by the cleaning storage room without wanting to straighten out the supplies and be sure everyone has a sharpened pencil in their desks.

Libraian, the 2-sided Coin - Over-polite when driving (the Seattle area is known for this), and not moving at a 4-way stop sign. Often found at summer camp as geeky counselors, they are dominated by the kids, who are more cool than their leader. Libraians also collect and maintain libraries of hardcover books by color, not author.

Scorch-you-up the Scorpion – Often seen glaring at long lines of people and yelling at sports figures at ballparks; also noticed in school as youngsters who swear that standardized tests are a form of code.

Sloggytarius the Centaur – Fond of mules, donkeys, and burros, these individuals have a yearning to own animals who refuse to cooperate unless they get their own way.  Also found on farms where they sit in the mud and wait until someone says it’s the right thing to get out of the rain.

CaptainCorneous the grounded Goat-fish –  These individuals are the masters of junk yard recycling:  “Just because it’s broken don’t mean it can’t be used.”  Also seen in the fertilizer business and in the pastures of Sloggytarian farmers:  “One man’s waste shouldn’t go to waste.”

Aquire-ous the social networker – Often seen in community centers, schoolyard soccer, basketball, football, or baseball games as referees, coaches, and umpires who rule against the home team, their motto is “We will extend our neighbors a helping hand.  We will extend two hands, and help ourselves to our neighbors!”

Piskees, the two fish – Known for collecting wading pools and filling them with frogs and other amphibians, and fishing in barrels and swimming pools and wondering why they haven’t got a bite.

(C) MDLOP8 2011; 2022

The Moon reflects our Personal Needs

 

I've mentioned this before: how the Moon as a subconscious agent is more likely to reflect (!) the True Self to the public because it is what the individual Needs for his/her personal safety, security, and manner of dealing with society.

Moon in Aries: The need to be independent-thinking and responding in action/impulse

Moon in Taurus: The need to be secure and stabilized

Moon in Gemini: The need to ask questions and learn

Moon in Cancer: The need to help others (and Self) be safe

Moon in Leo: The need to be appreciated and show care about others

Moon in Virgo: The need to be of assistance and help others and Self organize and manage

Moon in Libra: The need to keep people and situations in harmony

Moon in Scorpio: The need for privacy and safety by knowing others' motivations

Moon in Sagittarius: The need to learn more about others' values and beliefs

Moon in Capricorn: The need to achieve and succeed at the highest possible level

Moon in Aquarius: The need for personal freedom of Self-image and others

Moon in Pisces: The need to understand and detach from the world

Yes, I DO laugh about my work (and clients!) sometimes!

 Somedays...it feels like either I'm saying this or I've got clients like this! 😄😂Credits also to the original artist!!

Astrological Insights into Personality: the influence of the ruling parent's role

Two reasons to get this book by the late Betty Lundsted: First, this excellent review by Amazon.com.

First, "This down-to-earth exploration of natal chart interpretation shows the familial, male-female patterns in the zodiacal signs and the potentials they hold in combination with planetary energies and house symbolism. Our personalities are strongly influenced by what was happening around us when we were infants and whether our needs were met. Lundsted explains that our natal chart is our parent's transit chart, therefore revealing the truth of our childhood family dynamics. 

Once we understand these dynamics, Lundsted helps us move beyond laying blame on our parents by identifying the compensating strengths revealed in the chart. She also shows us that the typically classified difficult or hard aspects in the chart actually hold the key to our transformation."

Second, Betty purports within the book that there is a very easy, fundamental way to assess which parent was the primary, major influence in a subject's life. To do so, she explores the signage, elemental, and polarities (masculine-feminine) qualities of the three key dynamics in a chart: the Sun, Moon, and Ascendant.

According to Betty, this trio is a remarkable provider of psychological insights. By her reckoning, the outcome is based on a 2:3 ratio, either in a positive-negative polarity outcome, or by elemental outcome dominance of Fire, Earth, Air, or Water. Naturally, the positive-balanced signs are Fire and Air, and the negative-balanced signs are Earth and Water. The father figure, whether or not he was present in the early developing years, will be shown by that two-of-three pattern. Likewise, the mother figure, whether or not she was present in the early developing years, will be shown in a similar two-of-three configuration. 

I honor Gustav Holst "The Planets" but no "Clair de Lune"? Done!!

 

"...ESPECIALLY so, Mitchell, because this is the time of Cancer the Crab, and you KNOW that's all about the Moon. So where is the post for this classic?!"

Ouch! Guilty!! Amended!!!!

Two compositions: one, the original by Claude DeBussy, which I dearly love for its gentleness and serenity. And the second, by Japanese musician Isao Tomita, which I first heard on WNEW-FM, 102.7, New York radio, back in the early 1970s and performed on an electronic keyboard display. (It was and remains in my memory as a legendary institution of music.) Both are brilliant in their presentation. Enjoy. I'm embedding them so that there is no loss if someone closes their YouTube account.

Venus in Cancer: the love of home, family, and more

 

Venus in Cancer – Home (and your heart) is where you find safety, love, and care

 

        There’s a funny quality about Venus in Cancer: it’s got the tangible qualities of a physical relationship with someone special (and not necessarily carnal: “mother’s love” encompasses it)—but also a sense of “home-and-safety” too for something (or someone) in a security-driven way. It’s about caring for someone or something in a protective manner. Venus in Cancer can also be a love of the land and place of origin. Or…even “Mother Ocean,” who in Her own way is the origin of Life on this planet. Many people who just feel that longing for the beach and the lure of the waves know this intuitively. Others, like the men and women who have gone to sea and sailed for days, know this bonding too as the sun sets on the horizon in the evening.

Venus in Cancer also brings the love of nurturing and feeding others—and the self too. “Comfort food” is all about Venus in Cancer, and the holiday memories of sitting at a table with relatives and friends is a part of it too. Nostalgic events, outdoor barbeques, traditional celebrations, and festivals all have their roots in Venus in Cancer in some form or another.

         Pets and small animals are also part of the family ties that go along with Venus in Cancer, but not exclusively to the sign and planet’s qualities. Babies, nurseries, childcare, maternity wards, Lamaze classes, birthday parties, and all the goings-on regarding the early life cycle years are part of it. So is elementary school education and pre-school and nursery school.

         I’ve found that certain names for women have a Venus-in-Cancer vibration for the Divine Earth Mother in our life. When I was taking developmental psychology as an undergraduate, all my instructors were women who carried this signature: Diana-Deanna-Diane-Dina. And in another level, I found Carolyn-Carole-Carol. I think these are representative of the phases of a woman’s life cycles: first as the Maiden, and then as the Adult Woman grows into Motherhood. I’m not sure yet about the name for the Crone years of Wisdom and Experience, but I may learn it in my advanced years now. Diana, of course, was the Roman name for the goddess of the Moon: ruled by Cancer.

    In astronomical terms, there may be a fascination--and sensitivity--to the phases of the Moon. Cancer, ruling the Moon, will most likely bring this out. Venus in Cancer souls are most likely sensitive above and beyond when the moon is full, and very possibly, during a lunar eclipse. I would warrant that any Venus in Cancer individual will find him or herself drawn to large bodies of water during these times, and if so, will likely find an inner peace or contentment that they can not fully express in words.

         Physiologically, Venus in Cancer activates both the breasts and stomach area, as this is the natural body ruler of the sign. Men with Venus in Cancer may have a maternal quality to their nature, and as well be very involved in home functions that revolve around the kitchen. Women with Venus in Cancer will likely have a similar maternal quality about themselves, and restaurants, hotel and residence management, childhood education, holiday and ceremonial arrangements, and even end-of-life occupations may also find expression here in Venus in Cancer.

         I’ll leave this with the words of Elvis Presley—a man who certainly loved his mother, and for her, a reminder that she lost his twin brother at birth. The home—and Elvis’s elegant mansion, Graceland, is a national treasure—is yet another reminder of the qualities of a Venus in Cancer atmosphere.

Home is where the heart is
And my heart is anywhere you are
Anywhere you are is home

I don't need a mansion on a hill
That overlooks the sea
Anywhere you're with me is home

Maybe I'm a rolling stone
Who won't amount to much
But everything that I hold dear
Is close enough to touch

For home is where the heart is
And my heart is anywhere you are
Anywhere you are is home
Home, home, home, home

 (from the movie Kid Galahad)

Upcoming eclipses for the next three years

 

A lunar eclipse has an emotional, security-based impact. It often involves a female in your life. Subconscious issues come to the foreground during the 3-8 weeks+ after a lunar eclipse.

A solar eclipse has an identity, authority-based impact. It often involves a male in your life. Self-image issues (yours and how you are perceived by others) often come to the foreground during the 3-8 weeks+ after a solar eclipse.

Eclipse energies reverberate between 5+/- degrees ahead/behind in their placement in relation to planets in your chart. For example: 2 degrees Scorpio (coming in October) will impact planets up to 7 degrees Scorp—but also @25 degrees Libra.

If you have any eclipses falling exactly at 29 degrees in your chart either by planet or house degree cusp (doorway), EXPECT THE RESULTS TO BE EVEN MORE INTENSE for that planet in its signage or the energy of that planet. It will likely impact that physiological part of the body as well. For example: 29 Aries next April will SURELY impact someone’s head in some way. And 29 Virgo will surely impact someone’s lower digestive system.

· Partial SOLAR Eclipse October 25, 2022                       2 Scorpio

· Total LUNAR Eclipse November 8, 2022                      16 Taurus

· Annular Total SOLAR Eclipse April 20, 2023             29 Aries

· Penumbral LUNAR Eclipse May 5, 2023                       14 Scorpio

· Annular SOLAR Eclipse October 14, 2023                    21 Libra

· Partial LUNAR Eclipse October 28, 2023                        5 Taurus

·  Penumbral LUNAR Eclipse March 25, 2024                   5 Libra

·  Total SOLAR Eclipse April 8, 2024                                   19 Aries

·  Partial LUNAR Eclipse September 18, 2024                 25 Pisces

·  Annular SOLAR Eclipse October 2, 2024                       10 Libra

·  Total LUNAR Eclipse March 14, 2025                              23 Virgo

·   Partial SOLAR Eclipse March 29, 2025                             9 Aries

·  Total LUNAR Eclipse September 7, 2025                         15 Pisces

·   Partial SOLAR Eclipse September 21, 2025                    29 Virgo 

Eclipses open up life events

Eclipses are dramatic "wild cards" in our charts that bring on “fated” events: a “change of direction” if a personal planet is involved, especially the Sun or Moon.  It brings a bright light of truth to the part of your life that is touched by the eclipse. Eclipses act as brilliant illuminators, revealing a condition that you were unaware existed: they can help you do things you never realized possible. They can also act as catalysts to a major life decision.  

If an eclipse falls on your birthday, the year that follows certainly will be quite eventful. Take any message you hear at the time of an eclipse seriously--there usually is no way to get a situation reversed. 

All eclipses indicate change; solar eclipses signify beginnings and usually manifest as events in the outer world. Eclipse periods are extremely active, often associated with meaningful events and public exposure. The heightened impact of eclipse energy can be felt by everyone as much as 3 months in advance and has subtle reverberations for as long as 3 years afterwards. Although the energies are most prominent for a week on either side of the eclipse (many feel a heightened sense of anxiety during this period), the influence on events continues. 

A solar eclipse is a New Moon with tremendous impact. During solar eclipses we

·        begin something new

·        make promises to ourselves

·        commit to something

·        announce to the world-at-large or others

·        present ourselves

·        make plans

·        make decisions

·        rise to the challenge

·        make an effort

·        change- mature

·        travel at a faster pace

·        feel restless

·        feel pressured by deadlines and a buildup of emotions

·        experience a crisis and feel excited.

During a lunar eclipse, emotional-subconscious energies are released or awakened. Something internal has been identified or recognized; there is now a chance to express it in a social, outward way. It often involves another person, especially a female (as it's lunar-moon).

Transits can help make sense out of chaos

 

Program? Program!--can't tell the meaning of transits and their significance without a program!! 

“Hello, friends. Are you struggling with life choices?

Are decisions and responses getting snagged in your pursuit of happiness?

Are you ‘missing the clear voice of reason’ in your cause-and-effect answers?

Let ‘astrological transits’ clarify things!” (I can help)

Joking intro aside, this is very true for SO many of us—we ignore the possibilities that things aren’t happening for a reason—especially when it comes to the lessons of opportunity and challenge of the outer planets. I would also include the ever-present “go away and stop bothering me!” impact on our psyche from Saturn, Indicator of Tough Life Lessons. We also let that trouble-maker, Ego, get in our way because “I want what I want and I’m not backing down!” That is, until the transiting lesson has either brought forward personal growth of character, maturity (and wisdom), and a hearty measure of “Now do you want to listen and learn?”

Personally and professionally, I’ve seen three areas of Life Activity rear up and throw obstacles—or refusals for a desired resolution—in the pattern of transits from Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Each has its own way of grabbing our attention—obviously, startling, vaguely, and intensely, in that order. Yet we often try our hardest to deny what we don’t like, want, or really do need in our path of soul evolution. Yes, this is an extremely TOUGH environment: a heavily-dense physical dimension with a low spiritual overtone. But it does get better—once you graduate from Earthly life lessons.

Those three troublesome areas: career, relationships, and physical awareness—are on everyone’s to-do list. We grow up with them as companions, and we wrestle with them in various ways. Sometimes it’s about how to manage the roof over our head, or in other ways, the roof over our heart and whom we let inside. Perhaps it’s the “what do I do with my life?!” timing that’s awesome (the correct word) because it’s too vast and as big as a mountain (or as deep as an ocean) in our path. Or it’s the heartache and heartbreak of realizing we fooled ourselves again in making plans for sharing our future with a companion. Or even NOT having a companion—and accepting life as a solo act. Or—maybe it’s “I want to be of value and be compensated—and I can’t find the outlet (or make it work to fulfill my wants!” (when instead, it may be enough to fill our needs instead).

As a reminder: the transits are Indicators of what our psyche has to experience for soul growth. That’s why we’re in this strange physical form called the human body. Amazing what it can do, yes? And certainly, amazing for its potentials—and somewhat regretfully, that it tends to wear out too soon and in ways that are not enjoyable to maintain. But while we’re in this reality, let’s consider what the transits are saying:

Saturn: “Are you willing to go back again and again and re-learn and show through repeated trials and efforts that you have to do the tough work; the tough love; the get-up-and-be-counted actions and activities? Saturn certainly can put our Sun’s Self-identity through the ringer when it’s in a challenging time. It’s a reason to remember that obstacles are only temporary—like Harry Potter’s boggart cabinet and all that came out. Face them, and they’ll melt away—until the next time it’s ready to reveal another one.

Uranus: “Did you really think life was normal? If so, why are you reading this? You KNOW better!—and that’s why you can look at the “muggles” who can’t fathom what’s wrong and how much they’re ignoring matters. Uranus will toss you in the air to see if you THINK you can land on your feet like a cat—(and you can). Or it drops you from a plane and a parachute that MAY open—or not—but to see how you react. You’ll still survive no matter what.

Neptune: “I KNOW it’s what you dream and wish—be that job offer, that romantic love affair, or even that home-away-from-home, but it’s not practical—nor is it based in reality. Sorry, but the time will come when you must open your eyes. Look back and be thankful for the spiritual gifts that came to you. They were a blessing from the Divine Consciousness. But learn to let go of the illusion that it was perhaps meant to end at this time.”

Pluto: “If you can squeeze a tube of toothpaste, try being squeezed yourself. Or—how about those dreams where someone—or something—is chasing you—and you can’t get away?” Pluto won’t stop until you’ve morphed from a caterpillar into your cocoon—and are waiting to emerge, Dear Butterfly.” Pluto transits can last for SO many years, depending on the chart dynamics indicated by the house/wedge doorkeepers—and because we live in a world where change is gonna come regardless, the strong will survive and give the wisdom gained to younger generations. That’s how we’ll all evolve in time to join our rightful place in the brother-sisterhood of our galaxy. They’ve done the work—or in some cases, not—but they’re all going to go through it. Pluto is inevitable—even Darth Vader changed his attitude, Luke!

WATSU water training for Water-Earth sign people and careers

 

At physical therapy today, I was in a rectangular pool doing my routines, and I was speaking with Cesar, the therapist about Watsu and his certification and potential training. In vocational astrology, I would suggest this training ESPECIALLY for anyone with a water sign Sun (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), and also a water sign Moon. But I think this would work well with an Earth sign (Taurus/Virgo/Capricorn), and maybe even an Air sign Gemini. My late astrologer-friend and Gemini Jill McLane took my advice and did her certification and training in Watsu because she loved being in the pool.

What is Watsu? WATSU® is the principle form of Aquatic Therapy for rehabilitation. It promotes deep relaxation, quieting the sympathetic and enhancing the parasympathetic nervous systems. It has profound beneficial effects for trauma, both physical and psycho-emotional, with therapeutic application for neuromuscular injuries, stress, chronic pain, discomfort during pregnancy, and special needs.

Examples:

Anyone with anxiety, stress, depression

• People struggling with chronic pain such as Fibromyalgia, joint or muscle pain, post mastectomy, arthritis
• Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Expectant mothers --- mother and child float together
• People with special needs such as Autism, MS, Paralysis

Welcome to Psychological Astrology with me

 Welcome to Psychological Astrology (PA) Concepts 

with Mitchell D. Lopate

I’m an “astrologist,” as some people prefer to say: someone who actively studies and participates in the study of the dynamics of astrology. I have a B.A. in psychology from Rutgers University, and a masters in education from a private university—but I’m passionate about PA and how it works in our lives. I’ve studied it since 1976, and I’ve written a book about it as well as the blog itself.

What is PA? In western world terms, it’s a language of human actions and choices that can be discerned with the symbols that represent those actions and choices. It’s a blend of the myths from Greece and Rome that describe the stories of humans and their views of the gods and goddesses—the alleged beings of powerful energies of nature. Those gods and goddesses mirrored the choices and decisions of humans that are so vital to our awareness of life: love, war, intellect, enjoyment, surprise, emotions, self-identity, spirituality, discipline in building character, and ultimately, how we face death—and rebirth.

The participants in PA are like actors and actresses who partake of their roles in those choices and decisions. They take on nine (9) major themes (the major planets), with secondary back-ups, and present themselves with twelve (12) styles of appearances (the signs). Each actor/actress, in their exchange “on stage in life,” either cooperates or challenges each other, or several others, according to the life lessons to be achieved or mastered (the aspects). Or not—there are no guarantees!

Within those roles and challenges-cooperation, there may be one or more key areas of 12 Life Experiences—or “stages”—to facilitate this. Each “stage” (or ‘house’) has its own setting. A "stage" (house) may or may not feature any primary focus of action to be learned or resolved. (It depends on your life choices that were made before you were born. Yes, astrology does consider reincarnation as a key component of your soul's growth opportunities.)

The diagram of the birth chart (or current event chart, or even relationship-compatibility chart, if desired), shows who is in which role, how they are “costumed” for it, and in which areas of Life Experience they are “on stage” for the challenges or cooperation dynamics. There are also factors for passive or aggressive responses and “acting out in character,” and introversion/extroversion options. The results are ultimately up to each individual to learn through the “script(s)” that have been crafted for each actor/actress in the Life Performance. There are surely failures and also achievements, which all are up to the person who knows their Life Blueprint by way of PA.

As a hint: yes, the symbols are easy to learn in astrology. If you know your alphabet in any language, it’s just like that. Each symbol has its own ‘sound’ or role of action or energy to deliver. If you know your language by symbols (e.g., Hebrew, Sanskrit, Arabic), you know this already. If you know your language by complex symbols (Chinese or Japanese), you know it already.

There can be a lifetime of study within PA because psychology is the study of human behavior and the decisions that impact those behaviors. You may also learn how to identify which Life Lessons are appearing in your current life cycles or age. These are options that I can also teach—but I emphasize that it is much easier and rewarding to know the basics. To know yourself is to know your strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities. It may also reward you to know these qualities within those who are your key associates, family, and social network. Again, welcome!!

(Note: we won't use Pallas, Juno, Vesta, Ceres in this initial level because they are advanced material for later: the Feminine Asteroids and the 21st Century)

The Nine Intelligences with astrological Sun/Moon/Mercury natal placement options

                                   

 So how do these relate to Sun (I Am Who I Am) /Moon (I Am What I feel emotionally) /Mercury (I Am how I Learn and Think)? 

I’d try it this way—and yes, there are options. So in this regard, I would see possibilities IN GENERAL TERMS in the chart with those three natal planetary placements.

Naturalist – Taurus, Cancer, Sagittarius (All three especially in animal husbandry or veterinarian work)

Musical – Taurus (singing), Gemini (multi-instrumental), Cancer, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Pisces (Yes, I could see Aquarius in some form of  rebellious/alternative formats)

Logical-mathematical – Virgo (of course!), Taurus, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Existential (life-smart) – Libra, Scorpio (although suspicious by way of safety needs), Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius

Interpersonal – Gemini (GIVE me conversation!), Leo, Libra (the best at emotional intelligence), Aquarius (but more for socializing). Note: the LEAST-conscious emotional intelligent sign in Moon placement: Aries. WAY too possible to be self-centered.

Bodily-kinesthetic –Aries (competitive sports), Taurus, Gemini (arm-hand movements), Libra, Pisces (especially in dance)

Linguistic – Gemini, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Intrapersonal – Cancer, Libra, Scorpio (but they won’t say everything they know), Aquarius 

Spatial – Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn

(Thanks to Richard Gallahad for the idea!)

 

 

 

Civilization (pre-and-current), history, and astrology

 This is an outstanding view of civilization, history, and astrology. Premier thanks and credits to the original author for his craftsmanship with language, imagery, and definitions.

https://www.astro.com/astrology/aa_article160602_e.htm

Sun sign wisdom from young minds

 And now, an educational lesson on Sun signs, care of some...wiser-than-adult children!

Chiron & the "Gifted Child" dynamic for personal/professional healers

The Drama of the Gifted Child

Each of us carries within our psyche a form of wounded identity; some of us choose to become counselors or therapists who work with the wounds of others who need help in fixing the pain, memories, and association that come with the traumas of childhood and a dysfunctional family. In this book, Alice Miller explores the identity of The Gifted Child.

My point is simple but direct: for those of us who are psychological counselors and Intuitive Advisors, this is our Chiron's release point and fulfillment! "Gifted Children" are often the focal point of a dysfunctional family;  the book The Family Crucible explores this too.  Gifted children are also often the products of emotional abuse by a narcissistic parent.  (My mother has been classified as 'narcissistic'; however, it is my belief that my entire family and I have this issue; I see it as a global human experience. Narcissistic disorder is really about Ego and recognition.)  However, if the child's great need for admiration is not met for his/her looks, intelligence, or achievements, he/she falls into severe depression.

Miller has created a work that reaches into the soul and guides the reader through innermost (sometimes forgotten) memories and details of early life. By showing very clearly how gifted children are often relegated to that back burner of the family because of their own innate self-sufficiency, she paints a vivid picture of unconscious, conditioned manipulation and a common lack of emotional maturity in the part of the parents. The child is essentially denied a self of its own, as the needs of the parent are always paramount.

Miller says one can only be free from depression "when self-esteem is based on the authenticity of one's own  feelings and not on the possession of certain qualities."  In this case, a child who is exceptional in some way (and most likely an Intuitive Soul who is unaware of this ability) is the catch-all for the family's myths and issues.  This child becomes the "damaged goods" who never fulfills the expectations of his/her parents because they are "incapable" and therefore appear as non-productive, non-achieving, or introverted in order to protect themselves against the domineering egos of their parents and other family members.

In my case, my role in the family as "the genius who was unable to handle school" left me with an overall sense of personal worthlessness and confusion about my own reactions to the events of my adult life. Not having been allowed true feelings of my own through my childhood, I found myself lost in a sea of immature emotions once separated from the needs of both of my parents and their continual controlling mechanisms and denial of my identity as an adult.  This was also transferred by my siblings to me:  they continue to deny my values and beliefs because they are in conflict with their own and thereby consider mine to be "worthless." 

Denial is another phase of this:  when confronted with these damaging statements, effort is made by them to brush aside my demonstration of being injured by their words or representations.

Miller has identified one of the basic problems of her approach: she views the mother as the most probable source of this type of emotional manipulation, as the mother is traditionally the primary caregiver in very early childhood. But if read with a deliberate awareness that both parents (present or not) are involved in the panorama of childhood experience, a more balanced reading will yield surprisingly sharp images and a keener understanding of one's formative years.

WARNING: This book is powerful and extremely insightful, but not the informational or educational manual you might expect from the title--it is very personal, and is likely to evoke unexpectedly strong emotions.  The content of this book is extremely powerful and can be a painful experience, especially for a reader who finds him/herself relating to the content but not ready to face their own reality. 

Although it is certainly a classic, it is not a book to be offered capriciously to friends and acquaintances--a casual recommendation may be detrimental to your relationship with the unsuspecting victim.